10-28 Being Stupid Excerpts

I have embodied these years past. While there is some poetic license, the events were all too true.


Being Stupid Excerpts


“Being stupid is not a natural, innate trait,

but takes years of dedicated practice”

she announced over her half-moon reading glasses,


glaring at our 9th grade English class.

Earlier that year she patented my most notable trademark:

“You blithering idiot, get to the desk at the back of the class.”


Knowing nothing about the adjective blithering

I obeyed her prophetic direction, wondering if she used a comma splice.


.           .


Decades later I drove 100 miles to a workshop

and the receptionist, with blithering idiot intonation:

“It’s tomorrow; didn’t you read the registration form?”


.           .


Years ago at the Miami Airport Customs section

to a holstered guard, I admitted seeds from Costa Rica

were contraband in my Ibuprofen bottle.

A camouflaged soldier alerted his M-16

as an agent scrutinized his laptop. My 60’s protests

and Letters to the Editor were unrecorded.

A Public Intoxication conviction decades ago

in Black Hills South Dakota was unknown.

He impounded the alien seeds and gave a blithering idiot gesture

toward baggage claim.