I have embodied these years past. While there is some poetic license, the events were all too true.
Being Stupid Excerpts
“Being stupid is not a natural, innate trait,
but takes years of dedicated practice”
she announced over her half-moon reading glasses,
glaring at our 9th grade English class.
Earlier that year she patented my most notable trademark:
“You blithering idiot, get to the desk at the back of the class.”
Knowing nothing about the adjective blithering
I obeyed her prophetic direction, wondering if she used a comma splice.
Decades later I drove 100 miles to a workshop
and the receptionist, with blithering idiot intonation:
“It’s tomorrow; didn’t you read the registration form?”
Years ago at the Miami Airport Customs section
to a holstered guard, I admitted seeds from Costa Rica
were contraband in my Ibuprofen bottle.
A camouflaged soldier alerted his M-16
as an agent scrutinized his laptop. My 60’s protests
and Letters to the Editor were unrecorded.
A Public Intoxication conviction decades ago
in Black Hills South Dakota was unknown.
He impounded the alien seeds and gave a blithering idiot gesture
toward baggage claim.