12-31 Erotica Thwarted

May this one cause you to crack a half-smile, or less…




Guy picked a beastly DVD to highlight erotic ambiance.

Gal arrived perfumed and in pantyhose.

He displayed a full-blooming, yellow primrose

next to a chardonnay bouquet,

to enrich amorous effects

and retire in erogenous repose

(so he supposed)


but failed to discern

in movies with monsters, there’s never

ever a scene with consummated sex,

only hints of what will happen next:

the damsel will tremble, the stud flex

and as their kissing scene reaches apex—

all at once the fanged beast shows

with raptor toes and eyes that glows.

Guy and Gal knows, as hero and heroine

leave the creature’s bloody corpse,

rapturous frenzy will follow their last-scene kiss…


Guy nimbly gropes to unveil Gal’s clothes

and launch an evening of lubricous bliss,

but her mood is as romantic as if

she saw photos of herpes simplex.

(His fantasy of her in passionate throes

is not mitigated by his single pink rose.)

At his touch she froze, grabs her keys

with a hiss and slams his front door.


Guy wallows into a drunken abyss

and concludes erotica is not accentuated


with chase scenes by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.